The other day Cody and I were having our 673rd discussion on roles of men and women: Biblical verses American culture.
This subject really frustrates me. I have a hard time defining what really bothers me about our culture’s view of women. But something clicked for me during that last conversation.
Culture and feminism tell us that women can, and should, be successful and driven. We can become great leaders in politics and business and anything else. We can be strong, accomplished, confident, independent, and respected. However, being emotional, nurturing, sweet, humble, and gentle is weak and can be a detriment your success and fulfilling your potential. This mindset urges women to adopt masculine characteristics of strength, power and success, and suppress soft feminine traits.
Feminism’s message is cleverly disguised as inspirational. Behind the motivational: “You are woman, you can do anything”s, is the degrading message: “Men are more important. If you want your life to count, be a man.”
The problem with that is…we aren’t.
I realized that the world’s message is not in reality, “you are strong and successful, you are woman!” It’s actually, “you, woman, are worthless and cannot be influential when you are held down by an excess of emotions and compassion…so be like man. They are strong, successful, powerful, and influential. Strive for that.”
Feminism shames women’s true role in the world. It views our femininity as weakness…not difference. This was not God’s intention. He purposefully created women to be compassionate, nurturing, sensitive, and sweet.
1 Peter 3:1 & 4 “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands…let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit…”
God made us equals. He does not value men and women differently. But He made us different. He values our emotional and gentle qualities. We are ‘quiet and gentle in spirit’ because we were purposefully made that way; not because we just ended up with the secondary package of human qualities.
When God gives women the command to be subject to their husbands it does not mean we are in reality less or lower in value or skill. It means we are called to purposefully make ourselves less. To act in complete humility and put ourselves under our husbands authority and the authority of men in general.
“Subject” is not a word that describes what we are…it describes an action that God calls us to do.
The problem is, we women have issues with pride. We know that we can do many, if not most, things a man can do. We’ve proved it in history. We really can be strong, independent, and powerful. Not only are we confident in that, but we hold major pride in the fact that we can grow a person at the same time.
Because of that pride, submission, humility, and being the backstage helper of my husband’s life sounds like a drag. It seems lame, boring, and definitely not fair to my own passionate and talented self.
But fulfilling my grand dreams to prove I’m as valuable as a guy is not what God has called me to do. In fact, I think He’s called me to give up alot of those things, or at very least put them on the back burner. God has called me to be humble, allowing my husband the authority; to put his calling and dreams before mine; and to be compassionate and gentle and kind…because these qualities are precious to Him. In fact, He displayed them best when He died for us:
“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Philippians 2:5-8
So…to be clear…I’m not trying to tell girls out there what they should or shouldn’t be doing with their lives. I’m not advocating ‘stay-at-home’ as the best thing for all women. I’m not saying don’t follow your dreams, never do anything for yourself, and don’t take advantage of your talents and passion. I pretty much don’t care what you do. It’s your life and your decision.
I’ve just realized for myself, how totally screwed up our culture’s view of women is, and how sneakily it messes with me and my decisions.
I have no agenda. Just my brain of thoughts…which i hope is helpful to someone besides myself.