some photos of stuff

IMG_2023the 4th. we BBQed brussels sprouts at the park.

IMG_2050camping is our new thing. every free weekend we adventure out with our yellow tent.

IMG_2151i got this dealy and organized my crafty stuff. (most of it)

IMG_2195three mountains

IMG_2202baby sister Ania (8) . every day she would ask, ‘are you leaving tomorrow?’ ‘no, not til saturday.’ ‘oh. sad. i will miss you.’

IMG_2207surprised this girl at work

IMG_2294slept in an rv with 9 other people . after that Alissa and I opted to sleep on the boat (Ania’s around the corner)

IMG_2270boating 🙂

IMG_2271the mother

IMG_2284the beauties I came home too. Cody still holds true to his promise that I will always have flowers. there were even flowers waiting at Mom’s house when I got there from the airport. he had them delivered.

IMG_2293today this made me smile. as much as they exhaust my patience…I love my kids.

i have no idea what this post is about. i felt the need to be a more consistent blogger…so I opened it up and wrote

The summer has been different. Good different. Also bad different.

Mostly because I transitioned from nannying four hours a day every day; to ten hrs a day, two weeks on, two weeks off. My work days are now opposite of Cody’s, so we essentially don’t see during the week. Which feels completely stupid.

On the other hand, the two weeks off have given me all sorts of time to visit people and be crafty. The craftiness isn’t going quite as I had planned. But the visiting has gone superb. I spent two nights with my dad and baby sisters. Then two nights in my hometown visiting five or so friends and some family too. Then a whopping nine day trip out to Montana to go on vacation with my mom, step-dad, and family, where I contracted the most impressive tan ever. I’ve also had a visit from my grandma, a visit from my mom and sister planned, a hopeful camping trip with my dad and another hometown trip in the works.

It’s been crazy. Which is good. It distracts me from my sad little self…usually. I found myself fighting tears for two days straight while on vacation with my family. Frustrating to say the least…sun, boating, tubing, and sisters should do the trick right? It reminds me that my depression is real. It’s not drama. It’s not overreacting. It’s life and me and my hard thing right now.

I start to feel like there is something wrong with me. I must be brain damaged. Or sick and delusional. Or crazy out of this world selfish. I beg Cody through tears to tell me what’s wrong with me. His answer is always: ‘Nothing. It’s ok for you to feel sad. It’s normal. Stop telling yourself there’s something wrong with you, because there’s not. Everything’s ok. You’re ok and God is good.’ I really should tattoo that on my arm so that the poor guy doesn’t have to repeat it so often. And I hope I figure it out someday for real. I hope it sinks in so that I don’t panic when I can’t reverse my sadness. But for now Cody will just have to repeat it.

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things that happened while I was ignoring you

my apologies for being a lousy blogger. but i have a life (code for nothing smart enough in my brain to write about). so get over it. however I will try to appease your gallimaufry withdrawals with this little photo update:

20130531-222648.jpgCody was kind enough to drive me all the way to Montana to see my family and attend a dear friend’s wedding

20130531-222701.jpgCody turned 21…finally. i no longer have to buy his beer. You’d think being his sole provider of beer would be a wonderful advantage as his wife. Unfortunately I’m too nice for that. Which makes it simply a pain.

20130531-222721.jpgThis brave 6 year old had an successful 8 hr heart surgery and obviously came through strong and proud…and no longer purple.

20130531-222744.jpgWe brought this annoyance home. I promptly fell in love right before the realization that Cody is simply too allergic for a happy ending.

20130531-222753.jpgThis beauty got hitched.

20130531-222818.jpgI taught myself a little bit of this…

20130531-222840.jpg…and some of that.

20130531-222914.jpgAnd ink happened.