12.17 – one of the worst and one of the best times in my life.

12.17.2009  – it was 5 months after China and I was brewing espresso for small town folks when my mom called me…sobbing. and I learned that my reason for traveling to China had died. from a sick heart that had miraculously gotten her through 5 years of life. she is the reason I will have a Chinese daughter someday.

10219_1146731521746_6852689_nMei Mei

12.17.2011 – began with a train trip to Seattle, progressed with tiny coffee houses, pikes place, macy’s escalators, packed lunch and ginger beer. I worked hard at convincing myself during a whole day of fabulousness that there would be no ring today…and succeeded. 10 minutes later he was on his knee.  395408_2651454458879_1981130058_n


that sort of day

it requires a couple tears. ben and jerry’s. encouraging husband words. hot chocolate at the end.

it’s that day.

you know what i mean. you’ve had that day happen before.

it starts when you’re overly emotional and crying in the car for no reason. you arrive at school to pick up favorite kiddos whom you’re not completely sure you’re emotionally equipped to handle at the moment. parallel park in a tiny spot. open your phone to text your husband an apology for being a witch, glance up. smoke is coming out of your beloved car’s hood.

oh frantic thoughts.

you call your husband, he’s in the middle of his bike ride to work.

‘the car is smoking!’

‘take it to the closest auto repair shop. if they say don’t drive it, don’t drive it.’

pick the kids up from their classes. walk to the car…in a hurry to see if you can find out what’s wrong before the husband’s shift starts. oh wait…potty emergency…back to school.

run back to the car.

driving with eyes peeled for an auto shop. your favorite helper in the front seat sees it first. ‘auto body shop’ parallel park in a tiny spot between a large truck and an orange vespa. you suddenly realize this is an auto body shop…not repair. feel really stupid and call your husband.

‘go ask them anyways.’

the nice man checks it out: ‘see that? your coolant’s leaking.’ it’s green and goopy.

kids: ‘how long will it take? can we get ice cream?’

follow nice man’s advice and take it to an auto repair shop 2 blocks away.

kids: ‘how long will it take? will the engine blow up if you drive too much? can we get ice cream?’

they look and say you’re radiator’s cracked. a lot.

kids to auto shop lady: ‘excuse me, how long will it take, maximum, to fix it? like ten hours?’

‘you shouldn’t drive. it will cost lots of money. it won’t be finished today.’

‘so can we get ice cream?’

you make decision to spend lots of money fixing your only car without your husband to approve. nerve wracking at best.

you call their father. ‘my car broke down. do you want us to come get us or should we take a taxi home?…….ok. meet us at ben & jerry’s. i’m so sorry about this.’

you give a piggy back all the way ice cream and wonder how you will get home. how you will bring your husband dinner on his break. how you will get to the bank tomorrow to finish buying that car for him that you thought you would have by last monday.

the dad comes. home. disney princess doll exhibit. hear about the justin bieber concert. leave for soccer…and get dropped off to rent a car to make life possible for the next day. hit traffic. for an hour. barely make the car rental place before they close. rent a car.

drive home through traffic. large cities are such a joy sometimes. watch a stupid episode of a stupid show to unwind. make dinner. drive fancy rental to your husband’s work. explain everything that happened.

best part of the day: ‘good job…you did the right thing.’

eat really great chicken you threw together. be really impressed with yourself.

go home. jammies. hot chocolate. write. maybe watch another stupid show.

the end.

don’t tell me that day has never happened to you.

life in no particular order

1. made pumpkin pancakes and sprayed whipped cream all over the wall. i won’t say who did it. but it was in his beard too.

2. went to fancy fancy dinner to celebrate scoring the nanny job

3. took pictures of ‘the face’…this is only one of many faces that were photographed

4. biked down a trail around a miniature lake

5. just for his credit…this is about the only face i can make…

6. had difficulty with the self-portraits…also wore big earrings for the first time ever

7. worked on becoming better at taking pictures of life

8. saw the coast

9. watched cheese get packaged on assembly line

10. hung out everyday with these new friends



there is a very large piece of me that is ashamed to admit that i’m addicted to pinterest. but there’s also a very truthful piece of me that realizes the extreme helpfulness of pinterest. i have gotten hair ideas, decorating ideas, crafts, art inspiration, and tons of super good recipes off it. and the thing is i actually do stuff with the ideas. so it’s not actually a waste of time.

point of all that being: i found a cool bed idea that i wanted to try. our apartment is pretty snazzied up. it looks decorated and lived in. except the bedroom. we’ve got a matress on the floor with covers that just never look neat no matter how hard i try (so i don’t try very often), a beat up marvelous green dresser which i love, and cody’s desk stacked with bills and insurance muck. (many thanks to him for dealing with that stuff, by the way. i get instantly lost on insurance. partly cuz insurance guys talk to fast, and partly cuz they speak insurance language. i am only familiar with the sounds of the insurance language words, but not the meanings.)

point of that being: the bedroom sucks as far as cuteness and creativity. then i came across this interesting idea on pinterest. you take pallets and paint them and then just put your mattress on top. it sounds weird…but trust me it looks cool. it’s sort of rusticy but with neutral colors it’s classy and if you add cool texture to the bed covers could be fabulous.

so i showed cody and he thought about it and decided it was a grand idea. he went on the craigslist free section and wrote down addresses of places that had free pallets in order from closest to home to farthest from home. he’s smart.

and we set off in my gas chugging little car to travel the city in search of free pallets. we found new cute parts of town. we stopped at an interesting store that was closing. i couldn’t tell if it was an antique store, a used furniture store, or what. but i liked it. we found 2 pallets in a very small space under a parking garage. but no one else had good ones. or else they didn’t have them at all. or else they were locked behind a fence.

we needed more pallets but we had exhausted our options so as we were driving away from our last destination i spotted a krispy kream and suggested donuts. cody wanted coffee, but not krispy kream coffee. probably gross. so we also got starbucks which is much better and perfect for fulfilling all coffee needs.

so we drove home from our quest with 2 pallets, coffee, a jelly donut for me and a very large box of 20 donut holes for cody. he had to get 20 because he knows that i tend to say i don’t want more, but then eat all his. which i did.

the face

cody is very proud of his face. he believes that i should have an entire blog dedicated to the faces of his face. because, as my mother once said, ‘he could narrate a whole story just with his eyebrows.’ and she speaks truth:


why does no one really talk about the importance of friendship in marriage? probly they do, i just have haven’t read those books or listened to those sermons. but really…it seems important.

it’s kind of scary being married to my best friend. sometimes it’s a little too close for comfort and a little too hard to hide my sinning crap, even for the high level of outward-perfection skills i have achieved. it tends to bring out more of my snottiness than any other friendship i’ve had. we also have more fights than i’ve ever had with a friend.

but something about that makes it better…i suppose more meaningful. probably because no other friend has seen the chasm of ick inside me like he has. and after seeing it, i doubt anyone but him would still want to get starbucks and play bananagrams and watch the office with me.

also why did no one ever tell me that husband high-fives are almost just as awesome as husband hugs and kisses?

what to write?

lately Cody has been encouraging me to get back into writing, which makes me like him alot. but it’s kind of daunting. and it’s sort of that thing where as soon as i think about writing my brain goes blank and i don’t have any intelligent thoughts. that’s why i wrote about nonintelligent blueberries and vacuums.

therefore it is your duty as faithful gallimaufry readers to give me a subject to write about. anything. deep…undeep. boring…unboring. lifeish…unlifeish. theologyish…untheologyish. see? as long as it’s generally appropriate and such.

i would much obliged.

a month

yesterday was a month since we got married…which is weird. it seems like it’s only a been week or so.

after the vacuum incident i have been trying to channel my moments of boredness into creative things. so on tuesday i tried painting for the first time ever. and because it was an anniversary of sorts the next day, i painted it for cody.

and i realized that painting isn’t nearly so hard as i thought. i had this impression that you smear paint on a canvas and it’s all the sudden permanent and you can’t fix mistakes. (erasers are my best buddies) but as a matter a fact you can just smear more paint over mistakes as many times as you want until it looks ok. pretty neato.

a different story is that my poor man is welding in 106 degree weather right now. how fun is that?